The Londonium

Right! Here we are again, at the helm of yet another post on the Blog with a Memorable Name. As always, it has been an Epoch since my last post, but I actually have an excuse this time!

You see, I am in London, capital of our mildly shabby nation, enjoying the many flavours of art and culture it has to offer, though, regrettably, without a reliable source of internetings. I've been assisting in the construction and operation of Folly for a Flyover, a delightful little project in Hackney which, if you can (and I know all four of you can't), you should check out.

I've also been dipping my toes in the world of theatre, trying out a Drama course, which has been brilliant. I was an Antelope for a little while. What fun! This little course has motivated me to pursue theatre as my "calling." So, that's good I suppose.

Things that have been on my mind to rant about:

D&D Essentials/Encounters: I played a game of D&D Encounters last Wednesday and ... well ... I wasn't impressed. The only way I could describe it was like D&D 4.0 but with all the fun, new, cool stuff taken out and replaced with combat and railroading. While I enjoy combat, I feel it should enhance the story, rather than being the focus of the game with the plot only hanging around to give a vague reason for the next fight. The Essentials version of the game seems determined to reinforce the old limitations on the character classes: Healers spend the entire game being nagged at and Fighters have had their cool Fighter-powers taken away, restricting them to the options of: Hitting things or Nagging the Healer.

Infinity: A fun little 20mm scale Skirmish game. Uses D20s and reactive actions. It all seems a bit complicated at first glance, but once you've seen a game played it all comes together. Also contains the best Samurai with Rocket Launchers ever.

X-Men: First Class: Undoubtedly the best of the X-men films ... and, while that isn't saying much, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Very good use of Magneto's powers and a great characterization of Beast. Also contains the best cameo ever.

Akira: I saw all of the classic anime Akira the other day, and it was brilliant. I've seen bits and pieces before and enjoyed the bike chases and psychic destruction, but I didn't realize quite how vague the ending was. Still, a lot of fun. Also contained the most unfortunate character of all time.

I can't think of anything else at this exact moment, so I will bid you a dew. One dew, going once, going twice, SOLD to the angry Scottish woman that called me lazy!

Lots of love, R. Rabbit.

PS. If you want to get in contact with me, shoot me an Email! While I'm rather detached from the worlds of Blogging and IMing I can still fire Emails across the void now and again.

Three Hours of My Life that I will Never Get Back

Green "computer letters" show credits over a geological map of the world, complete with numbers and readouts and suchlike. The kind of over dramatic pseudo-military orchestral score that, judging from games and films at the moment, is associated with the American Army plays, while some faint images from (Presumably) this game's predecessor are shown at the side of the screen.
The music ends with a flourish, and large words pop onto the screen:

"Five Years Later."

Um ... what? Five Years Later than what ...? The Opening Credits!?

Then, a gruff American voice, the kind that you know you're going to grow to hate announces: "The more things change, the more they stay the same."
What the Fuck does that mean!?

It is then that I realise the level of bullshit I have decended into.

This is Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, which I picked up with a mixture of curiousity and trepidation. I wanted to not only see what all the fuss was about, but also to know why those "True Gamers" are so keen to bash this kind of stuff.
What have I learned? Well ... I've certainly found out why these games are worthy of the hate they received from the Hardcore Nerd Crowd, as I will now explain ...

Now, what are the defining qualities of a game? Well, based on my personal experience (so feel free to disagree) truely Awesome Games have Awesome Gameplay and Awesome Narrative. So, it is in these areas I will rate Modern Warfare 2.

*Deep Breath* Here we go. I don't blame you if you turn back now. God knows I almost did.

Gameplay!

The actual nuts and bolts of MW2 are indistinguishable from any other First Person Shooter you've ever picked up on a console. It conforms to all the tropes of Shooters today, one of which considerably vexes me: The lack of a health bar.
When you are shot in MW2, the screen is covered in "blood" (I am using very heavy quotation marks here, as it looks like someone has just poured Strawberry Jam over your TV screen) and, if you take much more damage, you die. If, however, you take cover, the "blood" gradually dissapates.
This is my first gripe with MW2: Realism. Now, I don't know much about Real Life Modern Combat, having never taken part in any, but, it is my understanding that that isn't how being shot in real life works.
"But, Rude!" my easily manuplated theoretical audience shouts, "Since when have you cared about Realism!? Your favourite game is Monkey Island, and in that game you fit a six-foot Banana Picker in your Trousers!"
Well, Dear Hypothetical Readers, normally I wouldn't give a levitating monkey anus, but, Modern Warfare occationally throws out an annoying snag in the player's direction in the name of Realism; examples being:
1) Grenades that are difficult to aim.
B) Enemies that are nigh impossible to see.
iii) Bullet shitstorms taking place from every direction at once.
Four) Allies that are just as, if not, more useless than you.
V) Reload times on many of the weapons that give you an oppertunity to go into the other room and make a cup of tea while you wait.

Examples of Unrealism and Game Logic that totally make you scratch your head and wonder what the game developer was thinking when they put together this hodgepodge of a game:
1) Exploding Barrels EVERYWHERE, including, but not limited to; A Brazillian Ghetto, Washington DC and a Russian Gulag.
2) Commanders continually sending soldiers into situations where "bogeys" (That term still makes me chuckle) approach from every direction, including above, and expect them to get on with their mission, dispite the fact that no real fighting unit could possibly survive.
3) The butt of a gun doing more damage to a man than a bullet.
4) A soldier being sent of alone. Tantamount to Certain Death.
5) Friendly Fire being switched off (I'm sure the US army wishes this one was in the above list)
6) Infinite Lives, rather than, y'know, one.
And, my personal favourite ...
7) Riot shields stopping all ordinance, including focused machine gun fire.

I wish the developer would just take a format and stick to it, rather than randomly switching back and forth between Realism and Videogame Craziness as they see fit.

Another important aspect of Gameplay is difficulty. Now, at the beginning of the game you're sent through an assault course and your speed (rather than accuracy, for whatever reason) determines the difficulty setting for the game. I got medium difficulty, because I shot some civillians (since when does the US armed forces give a shit about civillians?) and took too long trying to figure out where I was supposed to be going. Happy with this, I got on with the game.
Not only did I complete this travesty in an afternoon, there were only a couple of bits that gave me trouble. Now, I might not have cared so much if these diffult parts were challenging or fun, but they were just frustrating. The fun parts were short and unsatifying, while these "throw-the-controller-at-the screen" parts dragged on and on and on and on and (repeat infinitely) ....
For the most part, if I died I could push past the bit that killed me on the second or third attempt.

Perhaps the biggest letdown of MW's Gameplay was the ending. Now, after one particularly throw-myself-out-the-window level, I was expecting a finale that tested my every reflex! A mighty battle of epic proportians!
I got a pretty easy gunfight, a chase down a river on a boat, and an almost-quicktime-event-like knife fight which got less and less action-packed as it went on, winding down into a still screen.
Oh.
Note that two thirds of that finale wasn't actually using the FPS mechanic, and so, really, was nothing to do with the game.
This brings up an interesting occurence in games: When the final level is completely different to the rest of the game and makes you wonder what all that practice you were doing in preperation of it was for. Good examples: Enter the Matrix, when, after a game of action-kungfu-gunfights you have ... a rail shooter ...? And as said before, Assassain's Creed, when, after a gameful of being told "Don't get into fights! Be Stealthy!" you are forced to have a Swordfight.

Ultimately Gameplay was bland, uninspired, inconsistent and ... boring. As I believe I said in the Gears of War rant, Boring is the WORST thing a game can be.

Narrative!
Short Version: What Narrative ...?

Long Version: The most defining aspect of a game is its Hero. What would Super Mario Brothers be without Mario and Luigi? Nothing! Who would want to play Sonic the Hedgehog if they had to play as Tails? No-one! Would Metal Gear Solid be HALF as entertaining if it didn't have Solid Snake growling out wit and cynicism to every giant robo-mech that crossed his path? Well ... I think Metal Gear Solid 2 sort of answers that one ...
So, for Modern Warfare 2 to succeed, its got to have a badass gunman hero ... like Master Chief, but with an AK47 and Combat Knife rather than Plasma Rifle and super cheap oh my god what were they thinking Plasma Sword.
At the beginning of the game you're given a name.
That's it.
Your name.
Have fun.

... honestly, that is the extent of the hero's characterization.
Actually, using the term "hero" is a little misleading, as your initial character dies three missions into the game. Over the course of Modern Warfare 2's "now-I-know-how-my-girlfriend-feels"-short storyline you take the wheel of four seperate men.
Two of these four die.
Only one of them actually has a spoken line, and that's because he starts out as an NPC, barking orders at you over the radio.

Really!? How are we supposed to care about these people if they're just "your face here" cutouts with no personality?
Now, credit where credit's due, the NPC-Turned-PC; "Soap" McTaggart, is pretty cool, and makes up one of the two characters that I actually gave a fuck about over the course of my MW experience. There are a couple of problems even with him, however.
We're never told anything about him. All his background is inferred. He's some kind of SAS/Royal Marine Commando type killer. He's Scottish. He has a pretty sweet mohawk.
What's with the nickname? Some kind of prison thing ...?
We don't have any motivation for him. Why is he in the army? Does he believe in his cause?
When it boils down to it, he's just a slightly-fleshed out version of the three your-face-here heroes. Only, he's British. Which is kinda cool, I guess.

So, we don't have a hero ... but surely we have great motivation! Some horrific evil that must be stopped, or incredably important mission upon which the safety of the free world hinges!
Well, after the whole "Unchanging change" speech and the assault course, you're sent into downtown Kabul. Why? You're not told. You're just given some meaningless bullshit by the General, Shepard, whose voice you already hate.
Then, after a building gets blown up, a lot of Afgans die and everyone cheers (I must say, if that's how American Soldiers really behave. I am appalled) you're in the mountains, infiltrating a base. Of course, you're not told that, you're fed more crap-which-means-nothing by General Shepard. You find out, through experience, mind you, that you're looking for a little device with one of those acronames which are so popular these days. Then you escape.
Honestly. I'm not leaving anything out. The player has been left high and dry. I think the game developers assume we'd know Americans = Good. Afgans = Bad. Unfortunately for them, I can think for myself. Where is the justification? I'm going around, killing all these men without ANY morality being discussed. If they were directly threatening some innocent babies or something, I might be okay with all the murder, but, as such, I'm not.
Anyway, inexplicably, you're now in Russia, working undercover for "the Bad Guy," Mikalov (or something like that) killing civillians in an Airport.

Now ... this bit is supposed to indicate how evil Makalov (or whatever) is. He's killing civillians and is a really bad guy.
But, at the time, my thought process was as such: "So, Molotov (and such) kills innocent people for money ... well ... at least he's honest about it! He's not going around blowing people up under the guise of "defending the free world." He's being forthright, and I respect that."
Cynical, perhaps ... but, really, if your bad guy makes your good guys just look dishonest, you're not off to a good start.

Anyway, things esculate and some more shit happens, culminating in a Russian invasion of the USA, and a subsiquent reta- ...
... wait ... back up ... Russia ...? Russia. Really.
Attention America! The Cold War ended a little while ago! This Red Dawn Bullshit isn't impressing anyone!

I imagine America misses the Cold War, a time when the nation and its allies were united against a common threat, rather than divided because of it. But, frankly, now it's just a little racist.

I mean ... look at this! It just screams of "Look at the Red Menace attacking your suburban street!"

Simply put. It's propaganda. Horrific Pro-American tripe designed to brainwash players into thinking America really is this force-for good in the world, and that going and shooting people really is a great solution to the world's problems.

I hate to become as preachy as MW2, but, frankly, I see no other reason for such a thing to exist. It's honestly frightening.

So, all in all, Narrative gets a -3/10

Conclusion:
If you want a mindless FPS, go play Halo. It's got everything this hasn't.
Now, I haven't played multiplayer, but, I must say, if it uses the same mechanics as the rest of the game, I don't see what it could possibly offer that any other FPS doesn't already.

If I hear "Hooah" one more time, I'm going to vomit,
Rude Rabbit, esq.

PS.
Writing about Assassain's Creed reminds me! I finished Assassain's Creed 2 and it was really good. From start to finish. I thoroughly recommend you pick it up! Unlike a certain other game I might mention.
Oh, and if you do get Assassain's Creed 2, make sure you hunt for all the Glyphs! It's difficult, but rewarding.

The Year of the Rabbit

Oh my! Well, it's been a busy winter ... not only for me, but for everyone, as far as I can tell. The economic climate grows increasingly more unreasonable, made worse with our Unholy Marriage of Liars and Thieves ... or "Coalition government," as they choose to call themselves, taking everyone's cash, School has resumed for most-if-not-all of you, which is no doubt causing you endless bewizzlement, and Egypt is rioting and raving and ranting, which, if you're like me and enjoy the idea of a Letter-R based revolution*, is REALLY cool.

*Big Bird: 'Today's coup is sponsered by the Letter "R."

Now, I seem to remember having an awful lot to write about ... hrmm ... let's see what I can remember: (Oh, and I'm going to have my subtitles as quotes-that-I-didn't-actually-say today, just to shake things up)

"I watched a Football game!"
Nope, I assure you ... it happened. No-one is more surprised than me. The MOST surprising thing about it was ... wait for it ... you're not going to believe it ...

I actually enjoyed it.

I know, I know ... who would've thought that being in a bar full of angry geordies shouting at Greek Sports Television would've actually been fun.
A Certain Newcastle-Inhabitant That I Know dragged me through his city-of-abode, desperately seeking somewhere to watch the Newcastle-Verses-Sunderland game. (Note for the UnEducated Brothers, or NUEB: Newcastle and Sunderland are mortal enemies whose mutual hatred stems back to the English Civil War, where both would mercilessly brutalise one-another for, in-all-honesty, trivial reasons. [Rather like today, judging by Sunderland's antics, ho ho ho.])
All the Sports channels, in their infinite-wisdom, chose not to broadcast the game, so those few bars and pubs that were hosting the athletic extravaganza were packed to the proverbial bursting point. It seemed like all of Newcastle was out on the streets, searching for a place to fufill their televisual pedaglobular desires. One bar was actually letting people in is SHIFTS. Eventually, we found a smaller venue (the Duke of Wellington, as I've been reminded,) which didn't require us to stand on furnature to see.
On some primal level, cheering along with the crowd really got me going ... the feeling of being one with a group of people (even if my "posh" accent did draw the odd funny look,) is really quite astonishing.
Anyway, Newcastle were robbed (ROBBED!) of the game by a rogue goal in extra time. (Another NUEB: This extra time seemed rather undeserved, and, combined with the referee seemingly allowing Sunderland [Or, "The Mackems," as an angry Geordie might call them] to get away with murder, gave the resulting tie a very bitter taste for the "Magpies" as the Newcastle team are known.)
What charming fun!

"OH MY GOD ... every game from now on will be a DISSAPOINTMENT."
What game could possibly invoke such a strong reaction? Well ... as those that know me and my tendancy to over-exaggerate, pretty much any game, but, in this instance, Red Dead Redemption, Rock Star's sort-of-is-GTA-but-it-isn't Wild West Epic.
Note: When I say "Epic," I don't mean the Internet's "woah thats epic!!!!!111one," I mean Epic in the classic "Long, Winding Moral Tale." I mean ... honestly, if it wasn't portrayed in the most unaccepted-yet widespread artistic medium the world currently possesses, this game would be up their with all the Cowboy Greats. If it was a film, it'd make Clint Eastwood cry.

Here's my mental progression with the game:
Beginning: Wow! This is like GTA but with horses! AND no voratious nagging cousins on the phone! What refreshing fun!
Middle: This is great! I'm getting to go through all the cliches and tropes of the Western, and yet it doesn't feel stilted or done-before ... plus, it hasn't got the barely-a-plotline-plotline of a GTA game! This is GREAT!
End: OH. MY. GOD ... did they just ... but it was ... and I just ... o.o ... *Mind is Blown.*

I'd go into further depth ... but ... I don't need to. It won Game of the Year for a reason.
If you don't have it already, go get it. Like ... NOW.

"Hey, Hairy Arms aren't so Bad!"
Err ... the least said about this one, the better ... let's move on.

"That'll be Twenty Pounds Please, Ma'am!"
Yep ... adding to the unbelievablity of this post, I am (sort-of) employed! Well ... I'm not being payed ... but, still! I'm doing work!
Pumping petrol is the name of the game, though I don't get an awesome hat and bow-tie. I've also learned how to: Fill Oil, Inflate Tires, Change Tires, Cut Someone's Break Lines and Work a Till! Important life and vocational skills!
It's also something I've been enjoying in an odd way ... now, that might sound odd, me being the underachieving sloth that I am, but helping the local women fill up their tanks is rewarding in its own way. *Nod nod*

That's all I can think of for now ... if I come up with anything else, you'll (possibly) be the first to know!

Lots of Love/Loathing,
Rude Rabbit Esq.

*We interrupt our scheduled broadcast for this public service announcement*

I was going to write a post, but my brand spanking new Xbox has grown a Red Light of Death ... no, not even a ring ... a mere light.
I am BadMooded.

Praying the Cable's to blame,
R. Rabbit,

Also ...

Yes, I ripped off the idea. Sue me.

Christmas Presence.

Well, Jesus-Birthday-Times have passed us by, and I hope you've enjoyed them as much as I have! I suppose I shouldn't brag, but here's my haul from this year:

1. I inherited my cousin's X-Box 360 that he doesn't use any more, along with a random assortment of games. This leads into the topic of today's rant.
2. An Ian M. Banks book. If you're of the reading sort, I recommend his "Culture" series of Sci-Fi novels, all about a Utopian Human Society that live of Disks. Very cool concept, very cool content, very cool writing style.
3. Paints for my fledgling Black Legion Chaos Space Marines, which an Inquisitor friend of mine has given me painting advice for. Very charitable of him, when you consider that might be considered heresy.
4. A flying UFO that my eleven-year old Second Cousin managed to ruin within ten seconds of clapping eyes on it. Joy. -.-;;

It's been weird seeing how members of my family have changed (or stayed the same, as the case may be) in the past three years ... aforementioned second cousin didn't even remember my name, which was sobering indeed.

Anyway, on with the subject of this post: two X-Box Games.

First up: Assassin's Creed and Assassin's Creed II,

Just so you know, I've finished Assassin's Creed, and have just started my murderous career in Ubisoft's Renaissance offering.
Now, I loved the first game. It was awesome, even if the ending was a little irking in both it's execution and it's plot's vagueness. Simply put, a game which has told you the merits of Stealth and Subtlety from the get-go should NOT end with a series of sword fights.
I don't really have many negative remarks ... other than controlling jumps could be tricky at times, particularly (much to my dismay) in the insta-death-if-you-fall-off-a-pole dock mission. Why does Altair SINK? Didn't they think that the ability to SWIM might be useful for an Assassin?
"Freerunning? Of Course! Backstroke? Don't be ridiculous!"
Needless to say, when I saw Etzio (Altair's Successor in the killing-people business) swimming, I was greatly relieved ... even if it does mean that the dodgy jump controls remain.
I've barely scratched the surface of numero douce, but have gleaned enough from it to know it's merits and weaknesses in relation to it's predecessor.
Etzio is a MUCH more likable character than Altair. He's a human, with human desires and motivations who, through the events of the story, gets turned into a killer ... while Altair is just a lifeless robot. Other than pride, he has little to define him.
The first game's out-of-the-Animus sections (the Animus being the device that allows the main character, Desmond Miles, to see his ancestor's exploits, and whose experiences act as a framing device for the story) are VASTLY superior to the seconds. All the action in game one takes place in one cold, sterile oppressive room, which really gives us an idea of the hero's helplessness and bondage. In game two ... all of that imagery is thrown out of the window, the mysterious nature of the villain's headquarters is ruined, and we're allowed to not only move around freely, but also fight people.
Now, I understand that the games are leading up to Desmond's personal fight against the baddies, but ... it's coming about in a very odd fashion. In the first game, the Professor's comments imply that Desmond is already an able Assassin, while, in game two, he has to be assisted in fighting some security guards (which felt out-of-place themselves, considering the implied security in game one) by a secretary. The crud ...?
Game two's addition of money and purchasable equipment was a nice change, though, I felt we could've done without the "fixing-up-the-mansion" element of the game, which is both time-consuming and ... well ... not very fun. Which, in the context of a GAME, is DIRE. Dying your clothes Deep Plumb, however, more than makes up for the largely ignorable diversion.
The last point that springs to mind in favour of Assassin's Creed might be considered minor, but really stuck out in my mind: the introduction of Freerunning. I am willing to believe Altair climbing up window-frames from the get-go, as he had been trained from birth to kill dudes, and was happily doing so.
Etsio, on the other hand starts the game as a carefree rake, and yet is capable of running up walls and leaping across ledges like a pro ... and it just seems ... odd. I mean, one might think that he has been taught by his father/brother ... but ... really. It still seems weird.
So far I'm liking Two more than One, but, goodness knows, I've been let down by an enjoyable story before. In any case, I'm looking forward to getting my hands on Brotherhood.

Gears of War:

OMGWTFBBQ!?!?!?!!!!1111one

Now ... this is a perfectly legitimate game, and I don't want you to think I'm bashing it in any way ... but ... why does everyone speak so highly of this!?! O.o
I have never found myself more INFURIATED with a level one than GoW ... I mean ... REALLY. WHAT is the big deal here!?! There are two reasons for this frustration:

Cover Shooter, Eh?
Now, in Gears of War, you play as Marcus Fenix (or some equally retarded misspelling) who, in a long-standing Shooter tradition, is a armour-clad, muscle-bound, steroid pumping Space Marine ... in fact, he's even more overtly manly and gruffly-unlikable than the VAST majority of other shooter heroes ...
... and yet ... he's a total pansy.
What kind of hero has to HIDE BEHIND A SOFA ...?
Now, I see what the idea is ... the designers were trying to add a bit of realism to the shooter genre ... but, personally, having to cower behind a piece of wall and wait for my health to recharge (yes, VERY realistic. <.<) doesn't strike me as particularly FUN ... which, as I said before, is kind of an important element in a GAME. ... I mean ... be honest, who's more fun to be? An enlisted British soldier in the Trenches of World War One, desperately keeping his head underground for fear of dying a painful death ... or RAMBO. Motherfucking RAMBO. I admit, as I've gone on, I've got the hang of not rushing into combat or trying to actually engage my enemy from anywhere but inside a heavily armoured bunker while manning a heavy machine gun, but, in my honest opinion, I do not find that very heroic behavior ... This concept of self-preservation was particularly difficult to grasp when I was starting out ... and this drew my attention to annoying point two: NO, NO NOT DIE BLAAAAAAAARG! x.x
Okay, at one point I found myself in a little cycle. It went something like this:
Step One: Checkpoint.
Step Two: Eternaty-Long, Unskippable cutscene.
Step Three: Giant boss of Insta-Death-Rape starting out two feet away.
Repeat.

If you don't understand ... visualise how it must of felt to play this ...

Oh ... your ... god. It is a rare experience for a gamer to think "why am I playing this?" This was one of those times.
When you compound this (rather common) "make-it-STOP!" cycle with the second issue, you get a rather irratating game. The other issue? Well, in GoW you have teammates, who, when reduced to zero health (and, trust me, they WILL be reduced to zero health ... when they're SUPPOSED to be covering YOU) they lie on the ground screaming for help, and, you, being the combined point-man/meat-shield/cannon-fodder/medic, must pull them to their feet (which, of course, you cannot do while taking cover ... because Markus is too thick to crouch and say "get up!" at the same time).
"Why is this an issue?" you rhetorically ask, literally ASKING for me to slap you around the ears. Well, it's a issue because, when the same fate befalls you, you are DEAD. Full stop. Your retarded teammates who'll just run toward the enemy gun enplacements get infinite chances, while you suffer a heart attack if a Locust looks at you angrily.
Combine this with Unskippable pre-fight cutscenes, and you get the kind of game that makes me want to HURT YOU.

I'm still playing it, though ... partly to see what all the fuss is about ... partly because I like to see what my maximum blood-pressue level is.

Chewing on his new X-Box headset,
Rude Rabbit

Eyebrow Dandruff ...?

It's CHRIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAS!!! and what a delightful time of year it is! Soon, I am off to have lunch/dinner with the family (and what a wonderful family they are) but, before that, I thought I'd better say a few somethings.

I've just come back from staying at my good friend Wrince's house for a week, which was a lot of fun, and saw one of my oldest friends, Tom, and these visits got me thinking ... it's funny how old friends are. No matter how much time has passed between you and no matter how different you have become, you can just pick up where you left off.
It's wonderful to have people in your life that you can get such unconditional love from, and I urge you, this Christmas season, to give any and all such friends a big old hug, just to show them how great they are.

Quick Updates:
1) I love cheese straws ... truely the taste of Christmas.
2) It turns out I like Oranges, which is funny, because, somehow, I'd convinced myself that they were disgusting.
3) My Dungeons and Dragons Core Rulebooks arrived, which, at first, were very exciting, but, I have yet to figure out an easy way to set up a Dungeon Map ... which is annoying, as I NEED to if I want to play. -.-
4) Been reading "Rise of the Orge," the semi-fictional account of Gorillaz rise to prominance. Never thought I'd enjoy a book about music. Glad to be proven wrong.
5) Minecraft is actually kinda fun, if you can get over the starting-out hump.

Have a very, very, very fun Christmas, filled with joy and laughter and awesome.
Yours Falsely,
R. Rabbit

INFURIATION!

Now, I hate to turn things all political here on the Blog with no name, but I am INFURIATED by today's (02/12/10 for posterity) Question Time, specifically by the Liberal Democrat panelist and his responces to questions posed in regards to the raised Tuition Fees. I was so royally pissed, I drew this. While the finances of the government and the raised fees are a travesty in of themselves ... what frustated me (read frustrated me as "MADE SO PISSED OFF THAT I WANTED TO GO INTO THE FUTURE AND EAT MY OWN UNBORN CHILDREN") is that this Lib Dem MP was upholding the policies of the Tories!!!
Now, don't get me wrong, they are together in a government, and, to an extent, they need to work together ...
... but, the Liberal Democrat PMs were elected by Students and those that support the Lib Dems' agreed pro education policies ... by offering their behinds to the Conservatives, they have completely betrayed their constituents and every Student or ex-student that voted for them.

Call me naive, but in this age of New Labor and Neo Conservatives which are often hard to tell apart, I held the Lib Dems on a pedistal. They were The Other One. The party that actually stood for something ... that promiced to actually make a difference in this world.
Thanks for shattering that illusion, guys.

So, this is both a call for both the Lib Dems to grow some backbones, and a call for the parties in general (and NOT just the back-benchers) to actually stand for something.
How about a Labor Party who actually have a socialist agenda?
A Conservative Party that aim to actually lower a tax?
Or perhaps a Party of Lib Dems that aims to instigate positive change?

Just a thought.

Planning to start a coup and set up a Dictatorship with Stephen Fry as grand overlord (I mean ... c'mon. Who's better qualified!?) -
Rude Rabbit

A Triumphant Return! ...?

A faboulously awesome friend of mine, Richard Sharp (Yes, like the Napoleonic Rifle Captain) has recently started a blog, and this spurred me to kick start my own. You can read his Blog here, if you're into that kind of thing.

Well, what has changed since my last post ... hrrrrrmmmmmm ...
I've graduated from Highschool (YAY!) and joined ranks of the unemployed (Boo!)
I've retuned to England (YAY!) and it's BLOODY FREEZING (Boo!)
I'm going to trek off across the country to see my old friends soon (YAY!) but I won't be able to see them all (Boo!)

That's a quick update. More may follow in future posts which, I ASSURE YOU, are coming.

So now I'm living in Swanage, a town which is in almost every Geography textbook in the UK, with one of my crazy aunts and her deaf dog. Upon arrival I managed to get aforementioned canine sent to the emergency room by throwing and stick and causing it to run headfirst into a breakwater. A good start to my British Residency.

So, here I sit, with quaint view of the ocean in between the terraces, trying to remain optimistic about the days to come ...

Oh, and I finished Assassain's Creed, and have subsequently began playing Assassain's Creed 2. I might post my next entry about these two games.

I leave you with a quote from Entzio's Uncle: "It'sa Me! Mario!"

PS: A While back I rolled my eyes at some of people's views on Role Playing Games.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.ASP
Yep ... totally warrented.

Left Behind

Hidee-Ho, my planetary neighbors, what shakes? It's been a while (And the understatement of the year award goes to ...!) since we last spoke, which is kind of a cliche opening for a blog post, and I thought I'd start off another blog-run with a good old moan.

The internet in Indonesia is slow. VERY slow. This in itself is annoying, as one might imagine, but, after a while you get used to having to wait five minutes for a single web-page to load.
What makes it MORE annoying is recent technology.

Y'see, people are becoming more and more internet dependent. The Facebooks and Twitters of this world are household names, and YouTube videos are constantly referred to.
This stinks.
It stinks because I cannot join in the fun. Pages crash, the internet dies, and videos take five hours to load.

The reason I bring this up, is Ubisoft's new DRM thingy.
For those of you that do not know, DRM is a copy-protection system that maintains contact with Ubisoft servers as long as the game is being played.
If you have a stable internet connection, this is all well and good, but, if you're like me and you live in a third world country with internet as reliable as a drunk pigeon, you're out of luck.
No Assassin's Creed 2 for me.

I understand Ubisoft's dedication to not getting their games ripped off, but, really, they're not giving ME alot of choice. If I want to play a Ubisoft game, I'm going to have to get a pirated version, and it's only a matter of time until one appears.

My only regret is how this course of action doesn't help those without any internet at all. They're just screwed.

So, I advise you all: If you're going to be a massive jerk and alienate your customers; DON'T.


Rude Rabbit will be back soon with yet MORE gripes and grizzles!
Have a nice day. ^^

Empty-headed ...

Tragically little to say today, so I thought I'd muse (Bad Puns FTW) on The Resistance, the new album by my sometimes-favourite band.

It's really good.

...

....

.....

Um ... okay, I suppose I owe you more than that.
It's alot more orchestral/piano-filled than Muse's other work ... and that's REALLY not a bad thing. It feels quite rock-opera-y ... a undertone that is complimented by Exogenesis, the three-part symphony that the album ends with.

I highly recommend checking it out, if not buying it. You'll be happy you did.

Wishing he could think of something deep to say,
- Rude

Neophobia! (I suppose ...)

Muse has released a new album.

For those of you who don't know, Muse currently competes with Gorillaz as my Greatest, Most Favouritest Band of all Time, Ever, a title I do not hand out frivolously, and so, when I heard that their new album, The Resistance, had arrived I jumped for joy.

I have not purchased this new GlitterDisk (ATOP) and so, being the cautious buyer I am (hur, hur hur,) I decided to see if I could here any of the new songs. After all, legitimate CDs are (relatively) expencive out here in the third world. I don't want to buy anything that's CRAP. Luckily, YouTube is packed to the brim with such videos.
So, here we go; Uprising.
Stop reading. Just ... listen to it.

Done? If so, good. If not, you're a disobedient little swine and I pity your inability to follow simple instructions. Of course, if you have good REASON not to listen, I guess you're forgiven ... just ... don't let it happen again, okay? Good. Now, have a cookie.

Anyway, wasn't that AWESOME!? I certainly think so. It's a strange mix of 1984, Dr. Who, Night of the Living Dead, V for Vendetta and the Teddy Bear's Picnic.
Now, I'll admit, at first I was a little taken aback by how techno it all sounded, but my fears were quickly put to rest by Matthew Bellamy's crooning and the piercing crash of his electric guitar.

Hey, Rude! I, once again, hear you shout, you're a slightly philosophical video-game/movie-nerd, you're not allowed to write about MUSIC!

Well, never fear, darling reader, for that's not the main topic of this little rant is not the song itself, (though it IS awesome,) but the general reaction to it. While YouTube comments are generally ... well ... shit, the ones for this song are unusually coherent. If you take a second to read a few, you'll notice another pattern emerging; they're mainly negative.

This is funny, as it reminds me of the reaction to some of the comments about Muse's LAST album, Black Holes and Revelations, with the masses screeming that it's not enough like Muse. I believe we can safely disregard these comments, as Uprising is MUCH more like Muse's early work than Revelations, and, to be frank, Muse is like whatever Muse wants Muse to be like.

So, why all the fuss? The answer is simple my friends: Neophobia!
I'm pretty that's what you'd call it, at least.
People do not like new things ... this is a fact. From the earth revolving around the sun to flying machines, new inventions, new versions of things and new editions of the same old thing annoy and frighten people.

I would go on a rant about how true and annoying this is, but, I see little point. It's well documented, and I'm sure you've experienced it at SOME point in your life. So, instead, I leave you with a thought: Next time you see or try something new, try going at it with an open mind. Who knows? It might be good ...

On a partially related note, how do you like the new look? I think the pink really suits ... but ... that's just my opinion.

Brad Hookman? REALLY?

Today on the Blog with a Memorable Name; an experiment!

It's tradition that, during their final year, students at my place of education write two essays on a subject of their choise, and give an accompanying presentation. True to geeky-form, I did mine on Role-Playing Games, and the stereotypes associated with them. Specifically, why these stereotypes hamper the popularity of these games, and stop them from being accessed by a less geeky audience.
On a side note, have you seen some of the crap people think about RPGs!?! Check it out. You WILL be scared.
Anyway, inspired by this "Senior Project," I desided, "Hey, why don't I put my money where my mouth is and get some noobs to play an RPG?"
So, after some quick talks with a few people, I got a group together who had never played a Role Playing Game before. It consisted of an adult male (AM), an adult female (AF), a teenage male (TM), and a teenage female (TF). Yesterday, we played about 75% of the "Ill Tidings" adventure of Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay with me as the GM, and each of them as a PC. My friend, with about as much RPG experience as myself was also there to help out, taking the role of a 5th PC. It's in the "Knights of the Grail" sourcebook, if you are inclined to look it up. I know you're not, but, hey, I try to be considerate.

The game itself went ... okay. Character creation took a LONG time due to me having to explain everything five times, but, really, you'd expect that, even with a group of experienced RPers using a new system. AF created a haughty Elf Envoy called Gythithy (I love randomly generated names! XD) TM, a tough Dwarf Pitfighter called Noragund, and TF, a crafty Halfling Knife-Thrower/Acrobat (Entertainer Career) named Agnes. AM, who was rather counter-productive throughout the whole game, created a none-descript Human Fisherman called Fisherman. After Vetoing this, he changed his name to Hookman. I told him to get a given-name, and he chose Brad (Which really fits with the Medeival Europian feel, doesn't it?). Brad Hookman.
This became a pattern throughout the game.
Being pressed for time, due to the lengthy character creation process, I rushed my introduction to the world. This, as any GM/DM will tell you, was a BIG mistake. This gave my players very little idea about their overall goal (Fighting Chaos) and so, when they found their first Chaos Mutants, rather than fighting, they wanted to run away. More my mistake than theirs, but, it's interesting to note that they felt such strong self-preservation insticts for their characters at such an early stage.

At the end, they all shared similar views about the game:
Character Creation: Way too complicated and WAY too long. They wanted to play the game, not spend an HOUR setting it up.
Story: They thought it was fun to play the story out, and enjoyed play with their characters, though, as above, they would've liked a little bit more background. My fault, and, therefore, not a great representation. They also liked the investigation elements, and seemed pleasently surprsied that we weren't just going around cutting down monsters.
Out-of-Combat actions: Everyone (other than AM) took to these quickly, and enjoyed the roles their character had to play.
Combat: Similar to Character Creation, though, there were parts that they enjoyed. I could tell TF was taking great pleasure in knifing everyone to death, and TM's joy was palpable when he finally killed the choas cultist he's been fighting.
The general consensus was that, if we had a little more time (I.E. more than one session,) it'd be more enjoyable, as the rules confusion and character-creation process wouldn't be a problem.
AM - Unenthusiastic, wasn't paying attention, didn't seem to enjoy it. When he DID have input, it was (for the most part) unconstructive. I explained to him several times that he only determines the actions of his character, not the results, yet he INSISTED on saying "I hear the wizard inside the building killing people!" *Shakes head with dismay*
AF - Was involved, enjoying them game and really getting into it. I was impressed!
TM - Seemed slightly bummed that he didn't have great success with his character (Bad rolls) but, other than that, liked the game.
TF - The real success story of this game. While she wasn't as enthused as AF, her enjoyment far exceeded my expectations.

So, our verdict? Role Playing isn't for everyone, but, the "Not everyone" isn't nessicarily confined to gamers/geeks. Success? Partially. Am I going to do it again? I would like to. Not just so I can verify what we've seen here, but also to show more people that RPGs don't turn you into a bloodthirsty killer.

In closing, Jack Chick rhymes with dick.

A Word from our Editor

Watchmen is awesome.

That is all.

Humans: Revenge of Michael Bay

I saw Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on Monday and ... WOW. I'm not going to spoil anything for anyone (Despite the fact that only three people will ever read this, and they probably don't care) but, I have to say, nothing's changed. Michael Bay (I hate to place the blame solely on him, but, as far as I can tell he's in charge of the whole thing) has made exactly the same mistakes as he did in the original film. What ARE these mistakes, I rhetorically hear you cry? Well, allow me to explain ...

At it's core, what is the plot of the Transformers cartoons?
The heroic Autobots, led by Optimus Prime, attempt to stop the villainous Decepticons and their monstrous warlord, Megatron, from taking over the world/galaxy/universe/planet cybertron. They disguise themselves as vehicles and wage a war on earth, befriending humans and getting into all kinds of trouble and intrigue. They normally end up fighting over some series-specific artifact or Energon source, but, generally speaking it all goes in a similar direction.

Now, in contrast, what is the plot of the first Transformers film?
Sam Witwicky buys a car in an attempt to meet girls, which steals itself, while an air force base in Afganistan is attacked by a mysterious helicopter-transformer. Some hackers do some things, some soldiers get attacked by a scorpion, and, after being attacked by a police-car Transformer, Sam's car takes him to meet some other robots who tell him the plot of the Transformers cartoon.

Instantly, you can see the shift in focus from Autobots to humans, and did you see how long it took us to get to the robots? There is far too much focus on the fleshlings. All we need is a human protagonist, like Sam, to introduce us to the Autobot/Decepticon war, and maybe a supporting character to get a second opinion on everything. Sam and Mikeala ... or however you spell that ...

You can pretty much copy and paste that last paragraph, and you'll have a fair review of the new movie.

A lot of critics have been complaining about mindless CGI-flaunting and and racial stereotyping, but, as someone who understands that showing off CGI is what you should expect from a CGI-film, and who doesn't really know what a black-stereotype is (I thought they were hillbillies. o.o) I'm not really all that bothered. But, what I AM bother by is the fact that movie-makers seem incapable of learning from their mistakes. The universal feeling among Transformers-fans was that, frighteningly, we needed more from the Transformers. Bay had a chance to reconcile himself with the fandom, but, instead, he wiped their hopes on his arse while saying "Arcee has one line! What more do you people want!?" (What does he mean "You People?")

Basically, this film isn't what it should be; a film about the Transformers. You're still going to go out and watch it, I know you are. It's a movie where shit blows up and giant robots kick the capacitors out of one another! That's awesome!
But ... it's not as awesome as it could be ... not by a long shot ...

This has been Rude Rabbit ... eternally disappointed.

Gob, be FREE!

Okay, after far too much belating, I'm going to go ahead and write about what my first post was supposed to be; Fallout 3.

Now, I love this game. I can't really think of any other way to explain it ... it gripped me right from the beginning with it's "gritty, apocalyptic realism meets optimistic futurism" style, as well as it's cool storyline and it's humourous tidbits. Put simply, it's got Gatling lasers, techno-knights, and a talking tree called Harold.

Anyway, I have one gripe with this game, and I think it's pretty representative of free-roam games across the board: Depth.
For me to enjoy a game I have to be involved, I have to like the hero, like/dislike the bad guy, and want to find out what happens. Games, like movies, have to make you care, but in free-roam games, because there's just so much stuff going on, minor characters and sub-plots can seem flimsy, so much so that, sadly, I just don't care.

Allow me to give you a for-instance. Of course ... I really didn't have to ask, considering it's my blog and I can do whatever I want ... but ... anyway.

In the first town the player encounters, Megaton, there is a bar called Moriarty's, owned by Colin Moriarty, a rather shifty criminal type. Now, the barman is a Ghoul (Radioactive zombie!) by the name of Gob, who is basically a slave who is regularly abused and beaten by Moriarty and his customers. He longs to be free, many of the people in town feel sorry for him, and the general consensus is that Gob not being there would be a good thing ... so, can you do anything about it? No. Not a thing.
You could kill Moriarty ... but ... really, that doesn't change anything ... the Bar's name changes, but, a lot of people still talk about him in the present tense, and Gob remains in Megaton.

It's not a big deal, and Fallout's still a good game, but there are many places where things feel incomplete ... Vampires go unpunished, Aliens go unexplained and lonely Goth-girls never get their man (or woman, as the case may be)
Free roam games such as Fallout 3 and The Elder Scrolls series are good fun, but it'd be nice if the freedom they provide extended to the characters, rather than just the game-world, and whether-or-not you're going to bother with the main plot.

On a totally unrelated note; I hope Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen doesn't suck.
This has been Rude, shouting at deaf ears.

The Un-caped Crusader

I dunno if I said this post would be about my original topic; which was Fallout 3, if i haven't said that already ... but, if it was, I lied. It's not about Fallout at all. There's no hidden subtext, no reading between the lines, nuttin'.

What this post is really about is movies. To be precise, Superhero movies.

Traditionally, costumed do-good-ers wear their signature mask to hide their identities, so that their super-powered enemies can't track down their friends and family. This is all well and good, but, y'see, I've noticed a pattern. In most Superhero motion pictures (with the notable exception of Batman Begins and Dark Knight; well done Christian Bale ^^) the heroes shed their masks during the final scene.
This happens in all three Spiderman films, Iron Man, and even Ghost Rider, who doesn't WEAR a mask.
Many may wonder why this is so. (Other than giving Peter Parker an excuse to execute all-but-one of his enemies. "He'd hurt Aunt May! It's not my fault!" ... jerk.) But, as far as I'm concerned, the answer is all too clear: Movie Stars.
Don't get me wrong, I love Robert Downy Jr. as much as the next guy, but, he's an actor, who's job it is to play the part he is given. The problem is, studios and agents want to make such a big deal of their clients, whether it's to make them happy or to boost the film's popularity, that it interferes with the film, and it's believeability. Would Spiderman keep using a mask that falls off at the first sign of trouble? Tony Stark can really remove armour manually that had to be put on by a large robotic putty-togethery machine? Bruce Banner's head was conveiniently the only part of his body not to hulk out during the final battle with the Abomonation?
Okay, so I exaggerate a little, but, I fear this is what it is coming to.
So, actors, how about leaving the masks on? We all know you're the one behind it, and it'll make all us comic-book nerds very happy.
And, movie-writers, how about leaving the mask on when you make the Captain America movie? (We'll see how that one goes at the international box office. >.>)

I end with a thought for the day: Give the "Merc with a mouth" A MOUTH.

John Rambo ... has been pussified

I was going to use this post to write about Fallout 3, a game I have some gripes with, but, something has recently got my proverbial goat, so it looks like that particular rant will be belated yet again.

A while back, I was watching the movie channel we get out here in Asia, when I saw Rambo 4 advertised ... or was it just Rambo? ... or John Rambo ...?
Well, whatever it was called, it was the newest addition to the Rambo movies series, featuring Sylvester Stallone as one of his two most famous characters, John Rambo, Vietnam veteran, ultra-commando, and all around psycho.
While I was skeptical, I gave the film a chance. Stallone looked slightly pudgy, and was wearing a shirt, but, c'mon ... it's Rambo. Freaking Rambo! They COULDN'T mess RAMBO up, right?

The end credits began to roll and I couldn't help but say, "That's IT?"
It just seemed like they hadn't put any effort into the action sequences. In most cases that might not have been such a big deal, but this is an ACTION movie. And not just ANY action movie, this is RAMBO.
First Rambo killed some guys on a boat, then he shot a couple of people with arrows, blew up a fairly terrible CG bomb, and had a large, yet strangely empty fight on a beach. Only the last fight scene had a respectable body-count, and it paled in comparison with the earlier films' climaxes, such as First Blood, or Rambo 2.

This upset me, and I didn't hesitate to let everyone know.

Time moves on, and a few months later I found myself watching Cinemassacre's "Top 10 Shoot 'em ups," the favourite gunfight-films of movie-boffin, James Rolfe. All in all, it was a pretty standard top-10 video, but one of the entries surprised me; Rambo 4.
At first, I was totally baffled. Then, I saw it. Footage of Rambo 4.
It was AWESOME.
There were body parts flying, blood spewing, and generally havoc being wrought. It struck me that this wasn't the film I had seen.

The point of this entry (a subject which isn't usually brought up half-way-through) is censorship, something that this example demonstrates.
Pretty much everyone who stumbles upon this blog will live back in the west, and so won't have come into contact with TRUE cencorship, but, anyone who's spent time here should know what I'm talking about. It's inescapable. Almost any movie you watch in the cinema, on the satellite, or rented from a video store will have some content cut.
Usually this is extreme violence or nudity, but at times relatively tame death, sex and swearing can disappear, along with any accompanying plot-points, artiness, or quality editing. In one movie, I didn't even realise a character was dead, until someone mentioned his "unfortunate demise" at the BEGINNING of the movie.

While, in most cases, you can listen through the bleeping, or imagine what is cut, and get a good idea of what the movie should be like, sometimes you can be severely disappointed, like me with Rambo.

Censorship is stupid, and altogether pointless. If you are watching a violent gore-fest, there's no doubt what you want to see, so why cut it?
I've seen the most clean-mouthed people I know watch swearing on TV and be unfazed, so why blank it out?
We're buying products, and not getting what we payed for.

Altogether, the whole business baffles and astonishes me, and, while my little opinion matters little, I wish it would stop.

Oh, and please take back anything I have ever said about Rambo 4, because I haven't actually seen it yet ...

***

Next time on The Blog with a Memorable name, some other random crap that may, or may not be about Fallout 3!

I was looking over my first entry, when I came upon the sudden realisation that I had only told half a story. Here, dear reader (take that designation with a pinch of salt, as I may not even like you) is the conclusion.
After receaving my conformation Email, typing in my propostorous password and logging into "BayWords," I was greeted by this message.

"August 7, 2008
Due to some problems with some software we’ve decided to not add to the problem by letting new users register blogs for a few days. We’re upgrading the software hopefully this week and that would sort the problems out, however it might take some more time so we just want to inform you guys.
Thanks!"

If you've checked the date, you can imagine my dismay. (If you haven't, you cannot, or you WILL be executed)
Anyway, long story short, (words I doubt you hear often in a blog) I ended up here, typing, with you reading my words some time later.

I will talk about what I REALLY wanted to talk about in the FIRST post tomorrow. Damn me and my uncontrollable appitite for complaining.

And so it begins ...

Well, after a good half hour of searching, a few minutes of setup-time, one bathroom-break and a lot of goading from my best friend, I have done it. I have claimed a patch of my own in the wild, untamed lands of blog-topia. Admittedly, this isn't too much of an life-changing event for you, considering blog-topia is an overcrowded and congested little burg, but hey, humour me.

I haven't got much of a purpose for writing this, which doesn't really give you much incentive to read it, so, altogether, we're off to a bad start.

After complaining about stuff to my afore-mentioned best friend, Wrince, I have decided to open my rants to the whole wide world for EVERYONE to ignore, not just him.

What is this post about? Well, allow me to start at the beginning ...

After the initial architectural plan had been set forth, I needed a plot of land for my blog. Wrince, being the Internet-master he is, pointed me in the direction of "BayWords," for an unknown reason. I dropped the strained building-metaphor, created an account, played the usual game of Internet tag, and was then told two pieces of information; my username and password.
Now, the username I had picked out for myself earlier in the process, but the password was, I assume, a randomly generated pile of garble, somewhere along the lines of "CL34BEE9."
What on EARTH is THAT!?
I thought the idea of a password was security. Y'know, so no one gets into your account and messes around with your stuff. The password aids in this by acting as a quick safeguard against strangers. Now, no-one's going to remember THAT, which means, for the first few logins at least, you'll have to have it written down, or saved in a text-document on your computer-box. All someone has to do is read your stray piece of paper/.txt file and they've gained access to everything!
From a purely n00bish "I-don't-know-how-such-things-work,-electronically-speaking" standpoint, (boy, my quote-mark fingers are tired) I must say this is a flawed system. I think it would be much better if they randomly generated a WORD for you. Like "Donkey." It's easy to type, can be associated with something of-this-earth, and, is memorable, if only for the "ha ha ha, that's a funny word for a password," factor. Also, no-one could guess it. I have no relationships with any donkeys at all, so it'd be perfect for me. (Does that make me a mule-ist?)
Admittedly, you might not like it so much if your randomly generated word was "Xenarthra," or "Password," but, hey, it's better than "H475JE8"