The Year of the Rabbit

Oh my! Well, it's been a busy winter ... not only for me, but for everyone, as far as I can tell. The economic climate grows increasingly more unreasonable, made worse with our Unholy Marriage of Liars and Thieves ... or "Coalition government," as they choose to call themselves, taking everyone's cash, School has resumed for most-if-not-all of you, which is no doubt causing you endless bewizzlement, and Egypt is rioting and raving and ranting, which, if you're like me and enjoy the idea of a Letter-R based revolution*, is REALLY cool.

*Big Bird: 'Today's coup is sponsered by the Letter "R."

Now, I seem to remember having an awful lot to write about ... hrmm ... let's see what I can remember: (Oh, and I'm going to have my subtitles as quotes-that-I-didn't-actually-say today, just to shake things up)

"I watched a Football game!"
Nope, I assure you ... it happened. No-one is more surprised than me. The MOST surprising thing about it was ... wait for it ... you're not going to believe it ...

I actually enjoyed it.

I know, I know ... who would've thought that being in a bar full of angry geordies shouting at Greek Sports Television would've actually been fun.
A Certain Newcastle-Inhabitant That I Know dragged me through his city-of-abode, desperately seeking somewhere to watch the Newcastle-Verses-Sunderland game. (Note for the UnEducated Brothers, or NUEB: Newcastle and Sunderland are mortal enemies whose mutual hatred stems back to the English Civil War, where both would mercilessly brutalise one-another for, in-all-honesty, trivial reasons. [Rather like today, judging by Sunderland's antics, ho ho ho.])
All the Sports channels, in their infinite-wisdom, chose not to broadcast the game, so those few bars and pubs that were hosting the athletic extravaganza were packed to the proverbial bursting point. It seemed like all of Newcastle was out on the streets, searching for a place to fufill their televisual pedaglobular desires. One bar was actually letting people in is SHIFTS. Eventually, we found a smaller venue (the Duke of Wellington, as I've been reminded,) which didn't require us to stand on furnature to see.
On some primal level, cheering along with the crowd really got me going ... the feeling of being one with a group of people (even if my "posh" accent did draw the odd funny look,) is really quite astonishing.
Anyway, Newcastle were robbed (ROBBED!) of the game by a rogue goal in extra time. (Another NUEB: This extra time seemed rather undeserved, and, combined with the referee seemingly allowing Sunderland [Or, "The Mackems," as an angry Geordie might call them] to get away with murder, gave the resulting tie a very bitter taste for the "Magpies" as the Newcastle team are known.)
What charming fun!

"OH MY GOD ... every game from now on will be a DISSAPOINTMENT."
What game could possibly invoke such a strong reaction? Well ... as those that know me and my tendancy to over-exaggerate, pretty much any game, but, in this instance, Red Dead Redemption, Rock Star's sort-of-is-GTA-but-it-isn't Wild West Epic.
Note: When I say "Epic," I don't mean the Internet's "woah thats epic!!!!!111one," I mean Epic in the classic "Long, Winding Moral Tale." I mean ... honestly, if it wasn't portrayed in the most unaccepted-yet widespread artistic medium the world currently possesses, this game would be up their with all the Cowboy Greats. If it was a film, it'd make Clint Eastwood cry.

Here's my mental progression with the game:
Beginning: Wow! This is like GTA but with horses! AND no voratious nagging cousins on the phone! What refreshing fun!
Middle: This is great! I'm getting to go through all the cliches and tropes of the Western, and yet it doesn't feel stilted or done-before ... plus, it hasn't got the barely-a-plotline-plotline of a GTA game! This is GREAT!
End: OH. MY. GOD ... did they just ... but it was ... and I just ... o.o ... *Mind is Blown.*

I'd go into further depth ... but ... I don't need to. It won Game of the Year for a reason.
If you don't have it already, go get it. Like ... NOW.

"Hey, Hairy Arms aren't so Bad!"
Err ... the least said about this one, the better ... let's move on.

"That'll be Twenty Pounds Please, Ma'am!"
Yep ... adding to the unbelievablity of this post, I am (sort-of) employed! Well ... I'm not being payed ... but, still! I'm doing work!
Pumping petrol is the name of the game, though I don't get an awesome hat and bow-tie. I've also learned how to: Fill Oil, Inflate Tires, Change Tires, Cut Someone's Break Lines and Work a Till! Important life and vocational skills!
It's also something I've been enjoying in an odd way ... now, that might sound odd, me being the underachieving sloth that I am, but helping the local women fill up their tanks is rewarding in its own way. *Nod nod*

That's all I can think of for now ... if I come up with anything else, you'll (possibly) be the first to know!

Lots of Love/Loathing,
Rude Rabbit Esq.

*We interrupt our scheduled broadcast for this public service announcement*

I was going to write a post, but my brand spanking new Xbox has grown a Red Light of Death ... no, not even a ring ... a mere light.
I am BadMooded.

Praying the Cable's to blame,
R. Rabbit,

Also ...

Yes, I ripped off the idea. Sue me.

Christmas Presence.

Well, Jesus-Birthday-Times have passed us by, and I hope you've enjoyed them as much as I have! I suppose I shouldn't brag, but here's my haul from this year:

1. I inherited my cousin's X-Box 360 that he doesn't use any more, along with a random assortment of games. This leads into the topic of today's rant.
2. An Ian M. Banks book. If you're of the reading sort, I recommend his "Culture" series of Sci-Fi novels, all about a Utopian Human Society that live of Disks. Very cool concept, very cool content, very cool writing style.
3. Paints for my fledgling Black Legion Chaos Space Marines, which an Inquisitor friend of mine has given me painting advice for. Very charitable of him, when you consider that might be considered heresy.
4. A flying UFO that my eleven-year old Second Cousin managed to ruin within ten seconds of clapping eyes on it. Joy. -.-;;

It's been weird seeing how members of my family have changed (or stayed the same, as the case may be) in the past three years ... aforementioned second cousin didn't even remember my name, which was sobering indeed.

Anyway, on with the subject of this post: two X-Box Games.

First up: Assassin's Creed and Assassin's Creed II,

Just so you know, I've finished Assassin's Creed, and have just started my murderous career in Ubisoft's Renaissance offering.
Now, I loved the first game. It was awesome, even if the ending was a little irking in both it's execution and it's plot's vagueness. Simply put, a game which has told you the merits of Stealth and Subtlety from the get-go should NOT end with a series of sword fights.
I don't really have many negative remarks ... other than controlling jumps could be tricky at times, particularly (much to my dismay) in the insta-death-if-you-fall-off-a-pole dock mission. Why does Altair SINK? Didn't they think that the ability to SWIM might be useful for an Assassin?
"Freerunning? Of Course! Backstroke? Don't be ridiculous!"
Needless to say, when I saw Etzio (Altair's Successor in the killing-people business) swimming, I was greatly relieved ... even if it does mean that the dodgy jump controls remain.
I've barely scratched the surface of numero douce, but have gleaned enough from it to know it's merits and weaknesses in relation to it's predecessor.
Etzio is a MUCH more likable character than Altair. He's a human, with human desires and motivations who, through the events of the story, gets turned into a killer ... while Altair is just a lifeless robot. Other than pride, he has little to define him.
The first game's out-of-the-Animus sections (the Animus being the device that allows the main character, Desmond Miles, to see his ancestor's exploits, and whose experiences act as a framing device for the story) are VASTLY superior to the seconds. All the action in game one takes place in one cold, sterile oppressive room, which really gives us an idea of the hero's helplessness and bondage. In game two ... all of that imagery is thrown out of the window, the mysterious nature of the villain's headquarters is ruined, and we're allowed to not only move around freely, but also fight people.
Now, I understand that the games are leading up to Desmond's personal fight against the baddies, but ... it's coming about in a very odd fashion. In the first game, the Professor's comments imply that Desmond is already an able Assassin, while, in game two, he has to be assisted in fighting some security guards (which felt out-of-place themselves, considering the implied security in game one) by a secretary. The crud ...?
Game two's addition of money and purchasable equipment was a nice change, though, I felt we could've done without the "fixing-up-the-mansion" element of the game, which is both time-consuming and ... well ... not very fun. Which, in the context of a GAME, is DIRE. Dying your clothes Deep Plumb, however, more than makes up for the largely ignorable diversion.
The last point that springs to mind in favour of Assassin's Creed might be considered minor, but really stuck out in my mind: the introduction of Freerunning. I am willing to believe Altair climbing up window-frames from the get-go, as he had been trained from birth to kill dudes, and was happily doing so.
Etsio, on the other hand starts the game as a carefree rake, and yet is capable of running up walls and leaping across ledges like a pro ... and it just seems ... odd. I mean, one might think that he has been taught by his father/brother ... but ... really. It still seems weird.
So far I'm liking Two more than One, but, goodness knows, I've been let down by an enjoyable story before. In any case, I'm looking forward to getting my hands on Brotherhood.

Gears of War:

OMGWTFBBQ!?!?!?!!!!1111one

Now ... this is a perfectly legitimate game, and I don't want you to think I'm bashing it in any way ... but ... why does everyone speak so highly of this!?! O.o
I have never found myself more INFURIATED with a level one than GoW ... I mean ... REALLY. WHAT is the big deal here!?! There are two reasons for this frustration:

Cover Shooter, Eh?
Now, in Gears of War, you play as Marcus Fenix (or some equally retarded misspelling) who, in a long-standing Shooter tradition, is a armour-clad, muscle-bound, steroid pumping Space Marine ... in fact, he's even more overtly manly and gruffly-unlikable than the VAST majority of other shooter heroes ...
... and yet ... he's a total pansy.
What kind of hero has to HIDE BEHIND A SOFA ...?
Now, I see what the idea is ... the designers were trying to add a bit of realism to the shooter genre ... but, personally, having to cower behind a piece of wall and wait for my health to recharge (yes, VERY realistic. <.<) doesn't strike me as particularly FUN ... which, as I said before, is kind of an important element in a GAME. ... I mean ... be honest, who's more fun to be? An enlisted British soldier in the Trenches of World War One, desperately keeping his head underground for fear of dying a painful death ... or RAMBO. Motherfucking RAMBO. I admit, as I've gone on, I've got the hang of not rushing into combat or trying to actually engage my enemy from anywhere but inside a heavily armoured bunker while manning a heavy machine gun, but, in my honest opinion, I do not find that very heroic behavior ... This concept of self-preservation was particularly difficult to grasp when I was starting out ... and this drew my attention to annoying point two: NO, NO NOT DIE BLAAAAAAAARG! x.x
Okay, at one point I found myself in a little cycle. It went something like this:
Step One: Checkpoint.
Step Two: Eternaty-Long, Unskippable cutscene.
Step Three: Giant boss of Insta-Death-Rape starting out two feet away.
Repeat.

If you don't understand ... visualise how it must of felt to play this ...

Oh ... your ... god. It is a rare experience for a gamer to think "why am I playing this?" This was one of those times.
When you compound this (rather common) "make-it-STOP!" cycle with the second issue, you get a rather irratating game. The other issue? Well, in GoW you have teammates, who, when reduced to zero health (and, trust me, they WILL be reduced to zero health ... when they're SUPPOSED to be covering YOU) they lie on the ground screaming for help, and, you, being the combined point-man/meat-shield/cannon-fodder/medic, must pull them to their feet (which, of course, you cannot do while taking cover ... because Markus is too thick to crouch and say "get up!" at the same time).
"Why is this an issue?" you rhetorically ask, literally ASKING for me to slap you around the ears. Well, it's a issue because, when the same fate befalls you, you are DEAD. Full stop. Your retarded teammates who'll just run toward the enemy gun enplacements get infinite chances, while you suffer a heart attack if a Locust looks at you angrily.
Combine this with Unskippable pre-fight cutscenes, and you get the kind of game that makes me want to HURT YOU.

I'm still playing it, though ... partly to see what all the fuss is about ... partly because I like to see what my maximum blood-pressue level is.

Chewing on his new X-Box headset,
Rude Rabbit

Eyebrow Dandruff ...?

It's CHRIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAS!!! and what a delightful time of year it is! Soon, I am off to have lunch/dinner with the family (and what a wonderful family they are) but, before that, I thought I'd better say a few somethings.

I've just come back from staying at my good friend Wrince's house for a week, which was a lot of fun, and saw one of my oldest friends, Tom, and these visits got me thinking ... it's funny how old friends are. No matter how much time has passed between you and no matter how different you have become, you can just pick up where you left off.
It's wonderful to have people in your life that you can get such unconditional love from, and I urge you, this Christmas season, to give any and all such friends a big old hug, just to show them how great they are.

Quick Updates:
1) I love cheese straws ... truely the taste of Christmas.
2) It turns out I like Oranges, which is funny, because, somehow, I'd convinced myself that they were disgusting.
3) My Dungeons and Dragons Core Rulebooks arrived, which, at first, were very exciting, but, I have yet to figure out an easy way to set up a Dungeon Map ... which is annoying, as I NEED to if I want to play. -.-
4) Been reading "Rise of the Orge," the semi-fictional account of Gorillaz rise to prominance. Never thought I'd enjoy a book about music. Glad to be proven wrong.
5) Minecraft is actually kinda fun, if you can get over the starting-out hump.

Have a very, very, very fun Christmas, filled with joy and laughter and awesome.
Yours Falsely,
R. Rabbit

INFURIATION!

Now, I hate to turn things all political here on the Blog with no name, but I am INFURIATED by today's (02/12/10 for posterity) Question Time, specifically by the Liberal Democrat panelist and his responces to questions posed in regards to the raised Tuition Fees. I was so royally pissed, I drew this. While the finances of the government and the raised fees are a travesty in of themselves ... what frustated me (read frustrated me as "MADE SO PISSED OFF THAT I WANTED TO GO INTO THE FUTURE AND EAT MY OWN UNBORN CHILDREN") is that this Lib Dem MP was upholding the policies of the Tories!!!
Now, don't get me wrong, they are together in a government, and, to an extent, they need to work together ...
... but, the Liberal Democrat PMs were elected by Students and those that support the Lib Dems' agreed pro education policies ... by offering their behinds to the Conservatives, they have completely betrayed their constituents and every Student or ex-student that voted for them.

Call me naive, but in this age of New Labor and Neo Conservatives which are often hard to tell apart, I held the Lib Dems on a pedistal. They were The Other One. The party that actually stood for something ... that promiced to actually make a difference in this world.
Thanks for shattering that illusion, guys.

So, this is both a call for both the Lib Dems to grow some backbones, and a call for the parties in general (and NOT just the back-benchers) to actually stand for something.
How about a Labor Party who actually have a socialist agenda?
A Conservative Party that aim to actually lower a tax?
Or perhaps a Party of Lib Dems that aims to instigate positive change?

Just a thought.

Planning to start a coup and set up a Dictatorship with Stephen Fry as grand overlord (I mean ... c'mon. Who's better qualified!?) -
Rude Rabbit

A Triumphant Return! ...?

A faboulously awesome friend of mine, Richard Sharp (Yes, like the Napoleonic Rifle Captain) has recently started a blog, and this spurred me to kick start my own. You can read his Blog here, if you're into that kind of thing.

Well, what has changed since my last post ... hrrrrrmmmmmm ...
I've graduated from Highschool (YAY!) and joined ranks of the unemployed (Boo!)
I've retuned to England (YAY!) and it's BLOODY FREEZING (Boo!)
I'm going to trek off across the country to see my old friends soon (YAY!) but I won't be able to see them all (Boo!)

That's a quick update. More may follow in future posts which, I ASSURE YOU, are coming.

So now I'm living in Swanage, a town which is in almost every Geography textbook in the UK, with one of my crazy aunts and her deaf dog. Upon arrival I managed to get aforementioned canine sent to the emergency room by throwing and stick and causing it to run headfirst into a breakwater. A good start to my British Residency.

So, here I sit, with quaint view of the ocean in between the terraces, trying to remain optimistic about the days to come ...

Oh, and I finished Assassain's Creed, and have subsequently began playing Assassain's Creed 2. I might post my next entry about these two games.

I leave you with a quote from Entzio's Uncle: "It'sa Me! Mario!"

PS: A While back I rolled my eyes at some of people's views on Role Playing Games.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.ASP
Yep ... totally warrented.

Left Behind

Hidee-Ho, my planetary neighbors, what shakes? It's been a while (And the understatement of the year award goes to ...!) since we last spoke, which is kind of a cliche opening for a blog post, and I thought I'd start off another blog-run with a good old moan.

The internet in Indonesia is slow. VERY slow. This in itself is annoying, as one might imagine, but, after a while you get used to having to wait five minutes for a single web-page to load.
What makes it MORE annoying is recent technology.

Y'see, people are becoming more and more internet dependent. The Facebooks and Twitters of this world are household names, and YouTube videos are constantly referred to.
This stinks.
It stinks because I cannot join in the fun. Pages crash, the internet dies, and videos take five hours to load.

The reason I bring this up, is Ubisoft's new DRM thingy.
For those of you that do not know, DRM is a copy-protection system that maintains contact with Ubisoft servers as long as the game is being played.
If you have a stable internet connection, this is all well and good, but, if you're like me and you live in a third world country with internet as reliable as a drunk pigeon, you're out of luck.
No Assassin's Creed 2 for me.

I understand Ubisoft's dedication to not getting their games ripped off, but, really, they're not giving ME alot of choice. If I want to play a Ubisoft game, I'm going to have to get a pirated version, and it's only a matter of time until one appears.

My only regret is how this course of action doesn't help those without any internet at all. They're just screwed.

So, I advise you all: If you're going to be a massive jerk and alienate your customers; DON'T.


Rude Rabbit will be back soon with yet MORE gripes and grizzles!
Have a nice day. ^^