Christmas Presence.

Well, Jesus-Birthday-Times have passed us by, and I hope you've enjoyed them as much as I have! I suppose I shouldn't brag, but here's my haul from this year:

1. I inherited my cousin's X-Box 360 that he doesn't use any more, along with a random assortment of games. This leads into the topic of today's rant.
2. An Ian M. Banks book. If you're of the reading sort, I recommend his "Culture" series of Sci-Fi novels, all about a Utopian Human Society that live of Disks. Very cool concept, very cool content, very cool writing style.
3. Paints for my fledgling Black Legion Chaos Space Marines, which an Inquisitor friend of mine has given me painting advice for. Very charitable of him, when you consider that might be considered heresy.
4. A flying UFO that my eleven-year old Second Cousin managed to ruin within ten seconds of clapping eyes on it. Joy. -.-;;

It's been weird seeing how members of my family have changed (or stayed the same, as the case may be) in the past three years ... aforementioned second cousin didn't even remember my name, which was sobering indeed.

Anyway, on with the subject of this post: two X-Box Games.

First up: Assassin's Creed and Assassin's Creed II,

Just so you know, I've finished Assassin's Creed, and have just started my murderous career in Ubisoft's Renaissance offering.
Now, I loved the first game. It was awesome, even if the ending was a little irking in both it's execution and it's plot's vagueness. Simply put, a game which has told you the merits of Stealth and Subtlety from the get-go should NOT end with a series of sword fights.
I don't really have many negative remarks ... other than controlling jumps could be tricky at times, particularly (much to my dismay) in the insta-death-if-you-fall-off-a-pole dock mission. Why does Altair SINK? Didn't they think that the ability to SWIM might be useful for an Assassin?
"Freerunning? Of Course! Backstroke? Don't be ridiculous!"
Needless to say, when I saw Etzio (Altair's Successor in the killing-people business) swimming, I was greatly relieved ... even if it does mean that the dodgy jump controls remain.
I've barely scratched the surface of numero douce, but have gleaned enough from it to know it's merits and weaknesses in relation to it's predecessor.
Etzio is a MUCH more likable character than Altair. He's a human, with human desires and motivations who, through the events of the story, gets turned into a killer ... while Altair is just a lifeless robot. Other than pride, he has little to define him.
The first game's out-of-the-Animus sections (the Animus being the device that allows the main character, Desmond Miles, to see his ancestor's exploits, and whose experiences act as a framing device for the story) are VASTLY superior to the seconds. All the action in game one takes place in one cold, sterile oppressive room, which really gives us an idea of the hero's helplessness and bondage. In game two ... all of that imagery is thrown out of the window, the mysterious nature of the villain's headquarters is ruined, and we're allowed to not only move around freely, but also fight people.
Now, I understand that the games are leading up to Desmond's personal fight against the baddies, but ... it's coming about in a very odd fashion. In the first game, the Professor's comments imply that Desmond is already an able Assassin, while, in game two, he has to be assisted in fighting some security guards (which felt out-of-place themselves, considering the implied security in game one) by a secretary. The crud ...?
Game two's addition of money and purchasable equipment was a nice change, though, I felt we could've done without the "fixing-up-the-mansion" element of the game, which is both time-consuming and ... well ... not very fun. Which, in the context of a GAME, is DIRE. Dying your clothes Deep Plumb, however, more than makes up for the largely ignorable diversion.
The last point that springs to mind in favour of Assassin's Creed might be considered minor, but really stuck out in my mind: the introduction of Freerunning. I am willing to believe Altair climbing up window-frames from the get-go, as he had been trained from birth to kill dudes, and was happily doing so.
Etsio, on the other hand starts the game as a carefree rake, and yet is capable of running up walls and leaping across ledges like a pro ... and it just seems ... odd. I mean, one might think that he has been taught by his father/brother ... but ... really. It still seems weird.
So far I'm liking Two more than One, but, goodness knows, I've been let down by an enjoyable story before. In any case, I'm looking forward to getting my hands on Brotherhood.

Gears of War:

OMGWTFBBQ!?!?!?!!!!1111one

Now ... this is a perfectly legitimate game, and I don't want you to think I'm bashing it in any way ... but ... why does everyone speak so highly of this!?! O.o
I have never found myself more INFURIATED with a level one than GoW ... I mean ... REALLY. WHAT is the big deal here!?! There are two reasons for this frustration:

Cover Shooter, Eh?
Now, in Gears of War, you play as Marcus Fenix (or some equally retarded misspelling) who, in a long-standing Shooter tradition, is a armour-clad, muscle-bound, steroid pumping Space Marine ... in fact, he's even more overtly manly and gruffly-unlikable than the VAST majority of other shooter heroes ...
... and yet ... he's a total pansy.
What kind of hero has to HIDE BEHIND A SOFA ...?
Now, I see what the idea is ... the designers were trying to add a bit of realism to the shooter genre ... but, personally, having to cower behind a piece of wall and wait for my health to recharge (yes, VERY realistic. <.<) doesn't strike me as particularly FUN ... which, as I said before, is kind of an important element in a GAME. ... I mean ... be honest, who's more fun to be? An enlisted British soldier in the Trenches of World War One, desperately keeping his head underground for fear of dying a painful death ... or RAMBO. Motherfucking RAMBO. I admit, as I've gone on, I've got the hang of not rushing into combat or trying to actually engage my enemy from anywhere but inside a heavily armoured bunker while manning a heavy machine gun, but, in my honest opinion, I do not find that very heroic behavior ... This concept of self-preservation was particularly difficult to grasp when I was starting out ... and this drew my attention to annoying point two: NO, NO NOT DIE BLAAAAAAAARG! x.x
Okay, at one point I found myself in a little cycle. It went something like this:
Step One: Checkpoint.
Step Two: Eternaty-Long, Unskippable cutscene.
Step Three: Giant boss of Insta-Death-Rape starting out two feet away.
Repeat.

If you don't understand ... visualise how it must of felt to play this ...

Oh ... your ... god. It is a rare experience for a gamer to think "why am I playing this?" This was one of those times.
When you compound this (rather common) "make-it-STOP!" cycle with the second issue, you get a rather irratating game. The other issue? Well, in GoW you have teammates, who, when reduced to zero health (and, trust me, they WILL be reduced to zero health ... when they're SUPPOSED to be covering YOU) they lie on the ground screaming for help, and, you, being the combined point-man/meat-shield/cannon-fodder/medic, must pull them to their feet (which, of course, you cannot do while taking cover ... because Markus is too thick to crouch and say "get up!" at the same time).
"Why is this an issue?" you rhetorically ask, literally ASKING for me to slap you around the ears. Well, it's a issue because, when the same fate befalls you, you are DEAD. Full stop. Your retarded teammates who'll just run toward the enemy gun enplacements get infinite chances, while you suffer a heart attack if a Locust looks at you angrily.
Combine this with Unskippable pre-fight cutscenes, and you get the kind of game that makes me want to HURT YOU.

I'm still playing it, though ... partly to see what all the fuss is about ... partly because I like to see what my maximum blood-pressue level is.

Chewing on his new X-Box headset,
Rude Rabbit